Esquire Theme by Matthew Buchanan
Social icons by Tim van Damme



He’s sooo adorable and awkwarddd. I just wanna put him in my pocket and carry him around w/ me for my own amusement. LOL. Don’t you?

(Source: angelic-demon)



Team Edward vs. Team Jacob

So xcited bout Breaking Dawn 2nite. Did you have time to wash my shirt?
Yes ma'am.
Thank you very much - I appreciate it.
Of course marked out edward and put jacob with a magic marker. Bahahahahaha!
Oh whatever! U better not! U better not! Hahaha!
Ooopss - so sorry.



Breakup for R’Pattz & K’Stew?!

Ohh sweet rumor mill, don’t fail tease me, now! Bahahahaha! * evil grin *

You know, the sad thing is that I normally don’t give a flying fuck about celebrity lives and relationships but this is one relationship that drives me up the wall; I mean, I seriously go bat shit crazy. I just wanna take Rob into my arms and rock him like I do the Boy and ask him, “What are you thinkin honeychild? Please, help me to understand this decision.” Really, I don’t see it people so when I read in US Weekly that he was rumored to be proposing, yet again and that this time she was planning to say ‘Yes’ I was so sad; however, never fear, the damned National Enquirer has come through - rotflmfao - with news I like to hear. Here is the exert, below. Enjoy. xP

Here’s breaking - and worse, heartbreaking - news on “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1!” Even though KRISTEN STEWART and ROBERT PATTINSON exchanged vows on-screen, there’s now NO chance for a real-life wedding for the longtime off-screen sweeties! Reports My Twilight Spy: “Just two days after the couple was inducted into Hollywood’s legendary Grauman’s Chinese Theatre, Robert - who’d been having second thoughts about their relationship - hit Kristen with the news that he’s ending it. They kept on smiling at the Los Angeles premiere, but Robert was an emotional wreck - and so was Kristen, who never saw the breakup coming. Explaining his reasoning, Rob told Kristen he adores her, but feels that their romance blossomed only because they’d been thrown together as on-screen lovers for nearly four years. Rob felt it was time to explore other relationships and move on.” Even though Kristen’s devestated, the source added, she knows they’ve got to put on happy faces to promote “Breaking Dawn” - and the sequel next year. © — Mike Walker

It’s true, though - the director of Twilight even stated four years ago that they casted Kristen as Bella first and when casting Edward they did the bedroom scene with Kristen; they wanted people who would have real on-screen chemistry that was believable. I had always wondered what would happen between Rob and Kristen after the movies ended..

I guess we shall soon find out if the National Enquirer’s rumor mill puts out FACT or FICTION. xP I know that if they do break up there will be a lot of sad 'Krisbert' lovers out there, but I will be one happy puppy. Haha.




R’Pattz + K’Stew = Gender Bending Fun Awhhsss - look at them! * insert Bender-face-bash from ‘the Breakfast Club’, here * I like their style, yes; I have worn articles of clothing from men’s closets before, as well.. however, this really takes it to a whole new level. Haha. All this tells me is that they beat each other, and can’t afford their own clothes. xP C’mon, now, guys - cut the umbilical cord, already! I remember once upon a time when Rob was a household name for reasons other than that of Twilight, and of being ‘the guy whose balls are in Kristen’s sock drawer’ - now he’s more quiet than Johnny Depp. Privacy is important for a celebrity, they deserve it, ya know - they ARE people, like you and me - but at least he seemed to have a real life before KStew; whatever floats your proverbial boat, though. It just seems silly, you spend 24/7 together, but you also need to wear each others shirts - sport matching bruises. Bahahaha. What, d’ya wear each other’s unmentionables underneath your pants, too? ;) I remember reading an article back in October that said while KStew was in London she had her filthy paws all over some other British actor (shocker) and back in LA, Rob’s cozying up with a damned Kristen look-alike (cos he doesn’t get enough of her at home, really!).. Seriously? Ya’ll are lame. Now, I read that Rob is going to buy Kristen a ring and that she is FINALLY ready to say, “Yes”; as many times as she’s been rumored to have told him, “No”, I’d have left her by now. I guess they’re cute together, whatevs - Rob’s hot.. don’t really see what’s hot-to-trot about Kristen, though (she does have a nice behind, I’ll admit). Either way, quit wearing each others clothes - the androgenous thing is getting repetitive (it’s only cute for so long, anyway) and good luck with the black eyes. ;) xo Thanks to Typokween for reblogging this cos I stoled it from her & added my 2 cents as always. ((:

(Source: kstewbitchface)



Swan-Cullen Wedding Reception Speeches

Is this thing on? Uhh, I'd like to propose a toast to my new sister. Bella, I hope you've got enough sleep these past 18 years 'cause you won't be getting anymore for a while!
Well, Bella was just like everybody else. Totally mesmerized by Edward. Or "The Hair," as I like call him. Umm, & then suddenly, Edward is all about Bella! Even though she's not the captain of the volleyball team. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding... Or the president of the student council.
Edward will be a good husband. I know this because I'm a cop. And I know things. Like, how to hunt somebody to the ends of the earth.
Now that your my sister, you'll have to get over your sense of fashion.
And I know how to use a gun.
Skirts, heels, handbags.
Go to sleep, my love. Go to sleep. When you wake, you'll see me.
I'd like to thank Renee & Charlie for bringing such a wonderful person into the world & into our lives. We will cherish & protect her forever.
It's an extraordinary thing to meet someone who you can bear your soul to & will accept you for what you are. I've been waiting what seems like a very long time to get beyond what I am. But with Bella, I feel like I can finally begin. So I'd like to propose a toast to my beautiful bride. No measure of time with you will be long enough, but let's start with forever.



Whiskey + Breaking Dawn

Who all attended this weekend???

Did you sit, with bated breath at the wedding of Isabella Marie Swan to Edward Anthony Masen Cullen?? I know we did!! Wasn’t she beautiful? The dress was gorgeous in the back, the front could go both ways - in my opinion. Lol. But, seriously.. That is why I am glad I packed a Twilight Emergency Kit (TEK) in my big Coach tote before leaving for the theater; loaded with tons of tissue, Dum-Dums, and whiskey. ((:

Yea, it’s no secret to anyone who knows me - I’ll gladly shout it from the rooftops, too. I LOVE WHISKEY. I know my boy, Jackson would concur. xP It’s not like the theater doesn’t serve alcohol, but they charge an arm and a leg for it and, on top of that, its liquor-FLAVORED wine-based concoctions, blahh.. I couldn’t be having none of that business to celebrate something such as this. I blame Alice. x)

So there we sat, my cousin (we’ll call her, LuvHair, for the sake of this blog - until I have a better Tumblr name for her) & I, in the back row (to the right), at the perfect angle, great view - other than the idiot waiters lingering in the aisles every now and again.. lingerers, man, LINGERERS!! xD I cried - because, well I always cry at weddings - and decided I needed to pull out the whiskey when the honeymoon came around. wiggles eyebrows XD I am, however, a little upset with Robert Pattinson; when the cast of Twilight was on the Ellen DeGeneres show he said his butt cheek shows during the baby makin’ scene, yet I saw no RPattz derrière. I’m no perv, but it’s a little incentive to putting up with Kristen Stewart’s shotty acting as Bella. ;) Juuust kiddinggg - sorta. Ha!

I really was on the edge of my seat the entire time, though, and extremely pouty when I realized LuvHair & I had long since used up all the whiskey I had stowed away for our massive journey into The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1. Haha. Hollywood (friend formally known as, Spencer Pratt in a previous Tumblr entry) calls me a, "Twilight faggot," on Twitter (blushes) and I love it because I have such a massive TwiHardon for all things Twilight its unreal; yet when it comes to the actors themselves its ‘Mehh..’ - haha - they’re just people, like you and me.. We just wanna fuck em (pardon my being crude) cos we have gotten to see em on the big screen. But that topic is an entirely different blog, though - stay tuned. ;)

Back to The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 & my whiskey-loss whiskeylust.. By the time the end credits hit I had cried a countless number of times - yes, I used up all my tissues. The movie is an emotional charge; it’s the only way to explain it, really! I was ready to cry, sing, yell, punch babies, kick doors - I was pumped!! Ahhh!! I mean, needless to say - really - one hundred & eighteen minutes later (and, one LARGE half-&-half cocktail later) my heart is threatening to erupt from my chest - I can only hope Papa C (or Jasper, preferably) is around to save me - as I borrow a move from Bella by chewing on my lip, I bounced my knee through the final credits; LuvHair & I talk about the movie as people push their way out and then.. I am presented on the screen before me with Caius, Marcus & the back of some woman’s head - a dumb bitch stops in the middle of the aisle!! x(

Oh, hell nah! - I have not waited 3 years.. the last 2 weeks with my advance tickets.. PLUS this past week in anticipation since Papa C (Peter Facinelli) tweeted about the extra scene for some woman to park her big head in front of the screen.. My TwiHardon had been growing for months and getting harder by the second the closer to the day we got; waiting for showtime (10pm) Saturday night it was white hot fire, I tell you. This woman was going down, either willingly.. Or forcefully.

“Are you serious, lady?! There are still people behind you,” I hollered loud enough for her to hear, but not too loud - I may be aggitated, but I’m not going to ruin the ending of the movie for my fellow TwiHards. That did it though, she turned and looked our way before, quickly, sitting down in an empty seat two rows in front of us. LuvHair, quickly started laughing, but I had already forgotten about the dumb woman - I was already entranced, hanging on to Aro’s every word.. Eekkk! Until November 16, 2012 my dear Cullens..

V“‘V ~ V“‘V ~ V“‘V ~ V“‘V ~ V“‘V ~ V“‘V ~ V“‘V ~ V“‘V

We finished the night with Taco Bell. It’s the first time I’ve eaten there in a year, literally; I was, still, unimpressed. The menu was smaller than a year ago but sure as hell was more expensive, funny how that works out - huh? LuvHair says I gotta give it one more chance at a different location, one by her place of business; yea, if she buys. Ha!

Before I leave this, though.. I must dip in to our psyches a bit - it still pertains to the topic above. See, I dislike Kristen Stewart; I am no KStew fan, at all. I do not think she’s right for Bella, I tolerate her because I have no choice. ;) She irritates me, she’s too nervous; too jittery, in her interviews. Her facial expressions, her look - she’s just plain as a person, and awKward with a capital K as an actress. Period. Those are my personal OPINIONS, though, NOT my judgements. However.. When I saw the trailer (did you see this coming?) for Snow White and the Huntsman I was floored. I was absolutely taken abake. At first when I saw Charlize Theron I was giddy and thinking, ‘What is this?’ It started to dawn on LuvHair, first, and she mentioned it and I said, “Yes I see it now,” and then ¡POW! Right in the kisser, they hit me with the KStew.. and I was speechless. I knew right away that no one, absolutely no one, could’ve been casted better than her; I cannot wait until June 1, 2012. Even, then, though.. I must admit, before that, though - biiig sigh -on the Ellen DeGeneres show when all of the Twilight cast was on it, her nervous ticks still annoyed me but not so much as usual.. I even kinda listened when she talked this time. Is it just that I’ve gotten used to her due to Twilight or has she actually grown on me..? #SWATH

Oh my.. I need a shot of whiskey - Jackson, you down? Ahahahahahaha!